It’s something TV producers seem to enjoy writing on (Monica and Chandler on friends, Charlotte on Sex and the City, Tina Fey in that Baby movie, the list goes on), but people experiencing it? There is no entertainment there. There is a lot of pain, waiting, unsolicited advice, and often lots of medications and needles (soooo many needles).
Jamie and I actually gave up on having any more biological children. I cried. I prayed, I yelled, and finally I surrendered. And the “peace the transcends all understanding guarded my heart.” I was really at peace by 2016. I was so grateful that God had given me one little blessing and I knew He was the author of our family- not me and my plans. Jamie and I prayed, talked, researched and slowly began the processes of starting an adoption.
My blessing, as a toddler.
We began filling out the initial paper work, praying, and getting excited! I submitted some of that work on a Friday in early September. Saturday I took Jamison on a hike, solo, because Jamie was traveling. I lost my footing and tumbled down a steep section of the hike. It was so embarrassing.
I needed an x-ray. In a very Jim and Pam moment, we found out God had a new plan for our family. One that involved putting the adoption on hold for now, because we had a second bio kiddo coming. We could not believe it. We still can’t. Our God is so good. Five years and a few heartbreaks after our first miracle, we have a second, healthy little person set to join our family in May. There is no medical reason, no logical reason that this should be happening. This baby is technically impossible. Trust me, I’ve sat with Doctors who told me,
“this will never happen to you.”
My dear friend Lisa, who has walked closely with us in as our family plans have changed, said something many years ago to me. She said, “my goalis, no matter what, to say, ‘Blessed me the name of the Lord.'” I can’t stop thinking of these words.
The Lord Giveth
and the Lord taketh away.
Blessed be the name of the Lord. ~Job 1:21
Team Z, party of four?!?!
So many of us struggle in secret with infertility and miscarriage. One thing I have been tremendously blessed with is woman who have come around me, prayed for me, and shared their stories. I am forever grateful for those woman. If you are struggling and need an ear, a shoulder or prayer, I am right here. To you who has been told “never” I tell you,
“with God, ALL things are possible”
Cheers to all the “rainbow babies” and love to those still waiting with empty arms and hopeful hearts.